A Good Year

Here I emerge from yet another slumber! As the year nears its sunset and we await the dawn of the new, I sat to ponder about whether to thank the year that went by for having shown me a glimpse of my most priced possession or to be angry with it for having that taken away from me.

I chose gratitude!

Saintly as it may sound, there is peace in gratitude. While on earth, most humans spend a huge amount of time trying to figure the meaning or the purpose of life, it is years like these that show us how insignificant we are as individuals and how we have no control over what we call destiny.

Gratitude may not change the scheme that destiny has in mind for us, it only eases the process.

I have had one true dream all my life (not getting into details), I came super close to having it and Puff! it vanished. In a previous post I mentioned my fear of losing things that I have, this, I lost before I had it. I sobbed, I mourned and I got tired, then I got back to trying again because, that I know I can.

When we lose something we get angry, don't we? The worst part of this anger is the absence of the person to be angry with. I wondered who I was angry with for months, only to realize this was always beyond mortal control and the anger was making it worse.

This post is not me trying to vaguely share my sob story, it is to share the power of gratitude and surrender! (To surrender, definitely does not mean to give up.)

This post is to share the peace I experienced when I accepted the fact that I am not the best performing manager who can get everything done.

2017 was a year of getting things done, yes there are somethings in your hand, things like trying and that I did. Somewhere between feeling strong after having achieving a hard to believe feat of losing 30+ kgs in a year and running 3 marathons, I think I set unrealistic expectations of what I could humanly achieve and that is where the struggle began.

My mother tells me, I have always learnt stuff the hard way! I had to physically burn my fingers on an electric iron before learning to stay away from HOT stuff, I had to wait for admissions to the second best kindergarten as the first best rejected me for some reason, I had to try to convince my parents for more than 6 years to get me married to my husband, who by the way they adore now! All in all, it has not been super easy, my weight loss saga sings the same song.

I often get tired of this situation, I often ask myself, is it me who is asking for things to be difficult? Well, I don't have an answer, for now, I am doing what I am good at - trying, being patient (that is taking most of the effort) and believing in the power of gratitude & surrender for things that are beyond me!

Do share your experiences and your coping mechanisms in times of difficulty and uncertainty and most importantly, share prayers for a better 2019 for all of us!